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Dads Talk About Birth

Amor de Madre - Dad - 2011

Ramon Martinez

My name is Ramon Martinez and I have a 3-year-old girl. My wife breastfed our little girl until she was 2 years old. Yes, I attended the birth of my child.

Our doula was very supportive and she made me feel very comfortable. I never knew women went through all that to give birth, but our doula Elva made my wife feel less pain. I will never forget when I saw our beautiful baby girl come out and I got to cut the cord and have her in my arms. I shared my experience with my mother when I called her in Mexico – and she was so proud of me because my father never went in with her when she had us. She confessed to me that she didn’t think I would make it, but I told her that Myra and I had been blessed by having a doula. I was very happy and emotional when I first held my daughter. I felt me and my wife became closer during those four hours of labor.

I was very proud of her because she was following all the recommendations our doula had given us during our platicas (education sessions). She would talk to us about all the benefits that breastfeeding would give my baby. And after having my beautiful baby girl in my arms, I wanted the best for her. I would get up in the middle of the night and bring the baby to my wife so she could breastfeed. I would also bring her water, like my doula would tell us.

What would I say to a new father about breastfeeding? I would tell them to support their wife, and that breast milk is very healthy for the babies. Babies also become stronger. I can see the difference between my nephew and my daughter who was breastfed. My little girl is stronger and very bright and my nephew is also cute, but he is very thin and gets sick often.

I have enjoyed everything about being a father, but most of all being with my wife in the delivery room and seeing my baby born and holding her in my arms. I always encourage everyone to have a doula, because this service really helped me and my wife become more close to each other and learn a lot together.

Ramon Martinez and his family participate in the Amor de Madre program of Migrant Health Promotion in Welasco, Texas. Amor de Madre is one of six federally-funded community-based doula programs.

Father's Day 2011

Michael Martinez

My name is Michael Martinez. My children are 3 years and 18.5 months, and I have a 10-year-old stepdaughter. My 3-year-old was breastfed one year and my 18.5 month old is still breastfeeding. Yes, I was able to attend the birth of my children. It was an amazing observation. I have been able to observe a vaginal birth where my 3 year-old was 8 weeks premature, and a C-section with my 18.5 month old – both amazing to watch. After months of hoping your baby is healthy, you finally get to see the finished product. With both babies, when I first held them, I felt scared and happy at the same time.

I fully support my wife’s breastfeeding. I believe that the baby gets nutrients as well as bonding that she would not get if only fed with formula. I try to be as supportive as possible and be the "go-fer" guy when the baby would wake. I would 100% recommend it to any new father. There is nothing negative that can come from breastfeeding.

What I enjoy the most about being a father is watching my daughters grow, physically and developmentally. It truly is an amazing process.

Gregory T. Posley, Sr.

My name is Gregory T. Posley, Sr., and I have four children. Two are 14 and the others are 10 and 3. My wife breastfed our children between 1-1/2 and 3 years with the last child.

I was able to attend the births, and felt all the love my wife and I share for each other was being manifested into beautiful little gifts given to us by God. When I first held my babies, I felt like the weakest person on this earth; I knew I was going to be wrapped around their little fingers (just for the first couple of years.) All I could say about breastfeeding was, "Thank you God for providing all our needs as you promised!!!!" I always gave words of encouragement, especially when she was tired, frustrated and felt like quitting.

I would say to a new father: Encourage your partner because it's healthy for both her and the baby, and mainly it’s going to save you money -- so enjoy the savings while it lasts.

As a father, I enjoy spending time, educating, and playing with my children.

David Gonzalez

My name is David Gonzalez. I have one boy, Esai, and he's 16 months. My son is still breastfeeding.

I was able to attend the birth of my son. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I've heard people say this in the past... for me, it was truly a humbling experience, to witness the miracle of the birth. When I first held my son, I felt joy and happiness mixed-up with nerves and exhaustion.

Now when I see my son’s nurturing from my wife, I'm happy to see the close bond they have created. I'm still amazed by all the benefits of this simple natural exercise. I try to support my wife by asking if she may need something (glass of water, or a pillow for extra support), or I simply just try not to be a distraction, so my son can be nurtured.

To a new father with a partner breastfeeding, I would say not to feel neglected or jealous and to enjoy the connection mom and baby are establishing.

As a father, I feel blessed to have a person that allows me to give him all my love, energy and knowledge, without conditions.

Abraham Dueñas

My name is Abraham Dueñas. I have one daughter. Her name is Sarai Ishabel Dueñas. She turned 1 on the 25th of May. My wife is still breastfeeding to this date. She jokes that she’ll keep doing it cause she loves it so much.

You know, at first I didn’t know if I could handle attending my daughter’s birth, but thanks to the urging I got from my Mom, I decided to be there, and I have to say, I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. Since the moment I knew my wife was pregnant, I could see the connection she had with our daughter. It’s only natural. I mean, you have someone growing day by day inside you. As I saw that, I couldn’t help but feel - hey! - When am I going to experience that sort of connection to my baby? I thought, maybe when I hear her heartbeat or when I see the ultrasound. Even though those were great moments, I just didn’t get that feeling I was waiting for, you know, that - hey! - You’re a daddy now.

Well I’m telling you, when I was able to see my daughter come into this world, and after hearing her first cry, it was like this switch inside my heart was flipped, and it was then that I could feel what I had been looking for, that connection, that sense of responsibility, everything. I was just so overcome with happiness, I cried uncontrollably. It really surprised me. I don’t think I ever understood what people meant when they say they cried out of happiness, but I did that day. I did the moment she was born.

When I first held my daughter, well I finally understood what my parents had always said to me: “Just wait, you’ll have your own some day. Then you will understand.” I don’t think I ever really did understand what they meant, not until I held my very own in my arms. I understood that they really would have given their lives gladly in favor of mine. I understood that they really would have given me everything if they could even though it sometimes seemed they didn’t, and that they really would love me no matter what.

I couldn’t have been happier about my wife breastfeeding. I really didn’t know the full benefits of her choosing to do so, but I’ve always thought that if that is what our bodies are meant to do, then it has to be good. To support her, I made sure she always had plenty of fenugreek, and planned out the logistics for her to have privacy whenever we went out. I also fed our daughter breast milk from the bottle whenever my wife could not be around.

To a new father, first I’d say that just because breastfeeding is not popular, doesn’t mean it’s not the best solution for your baby. Ask yourself why is it not the popular choice, what are the benefits? What do studies show? Basically, do some research. A lot of people do research on what they put into their bodies. A good father would never allow their 3 year old to have a steady diet of junk food. Fathers shouldn’t wait ‘til they‘re 3 years old to make those decisions. Start now. Do some research. Remember that our children rely on us as parents to make the best decisions for them.

I think the best thing about being a father is just watching them develop. I never could imagine how such an addition can bring so much into our lives. They entertain, they make us cry, help us relieve stress. They truly are the greatest gift.

Kenneth Hammond

Hello! My name is Kenneth Hammond. I have five children and their ages are 16, 15, 12, 8 and 6. My wife breastfed my children - my last two children, age 8 for 1 year, and age 6 for 2 years.

I was able to attend the birth of my children, but I ran late on my 8 year old and my wife would not let me forget that to this day. Every time I held one of my babies, it made me feel like a proud father of another newborn baby.

I felt that breastfeeding was the best nourishment for a baby and a healthy start to life. I supported my wife in any way that was needed, making her feel comfortable. What I would say to a new father is please take into consideration: Breastfeeding. It would be beneficial to the baby for good health.

I have enjoyed being a father - watching my kids grow up through their developmental stages and also learning how to become a stronger and better father through rough times and good times.

Tim Arroyo

My name is Tim Arroyo, and my wife Cecily had forwarded me a request for father's to share their breastfeeding stories.

Back in January of 2006, Cecily gave birth to our first daughter, Maya Rain Arroyo. All along she had plans to breastfeed Maya, but very few people in our family and circle of friends had breastfed their children, so our support system was pretty much the three of us and the lactation consultants of La Leche, whom Cecily became to know pretty well from the constant phone calls to them for advice.You see, breastfeeding and the pumping of milk was not as easy for her as it would seem. Often times there were tears, a baby that wouldn't latch on, and milk that just refused to come out.

Other than providing comfort, I felt that my role was very small, especially in comparison to her role as the provider, but Cecily felt otherwise. The biggest role that I played was assisting with pumping. There were times, when she just couldn't express her milk, which would become stressful and add to the lack of it. I would take over the pumping duties, so with the pump in one hand, I would use my other hand to squeeze a breast to get the milk to come out. Sometimes a lot came out, sometimes a little. With that, one of my responsibilities was to be the "milkman". I would pump the milk from one breast, while Cecily nursed Maya on the other. It was our way of being efficient so that we could feed the baby, pump milk for a later feeding, and have time to get ready for work.

This was a part of our daily routine for a while, until the tips from La Leche, and the suckling of Maya made feeding less stressful and the production of milk a bit more abundant. Cecily went on to nurse Maya until she was two years old, which may not seem like much in comparison to other breastfeeding children, but it was more than sufficient, and gave Cecily the confidence to now nurse our 13 month old.

My support role has changed with the addition of our second child Mariposa Sol. No longer do I play a physical supporting role in the expression of milk, and the only squeezing that I do is with the oranges that I peel when I make fresh squeezed orange juice for my family. However, I will always support the decisions that Cecily makes in regards to breastfeeding and the well-being of our two girls, and to the rights of all breastfeeding mothers everywhere.